Dear Big Brother

Dear Big Brother,

This is to the man who made me who I am today, everything I know about life is because of you.

Thank you for showing me what love is, for loving me when it seemed impossible, for always pushing me to learn from my mistakes, and sticking by my side when I was making mistakes. You have taught me how to be selfless and that the world doesn’t revolve around me.

Thank you for being the man who always believed in me. The man who believed in who I am and helped me believe that I am capable of conquering the world. You encouraged all of my ideas about my life and never made them seem crazy, even when they were complete nonsense. But you still have always given me the reality checks I needed in life. You gave me your grace even on the days I didn’t deserve it. Even all of the times I was stubborn and being a brat.

Thank you for being my defendor! You have always kept me close in what seemed like bubble of protection. You always made sure that I was shielded from the terrible things going on around me. You had to deal with so much as a kid yourself, but you’ve always stayed strong for those who depended on you. You protected me when I was a child and you still do it now. You didn’t just have me. You had to look out for yourself, two other siblings and a mom who needed you. I realize everyday that you really didn’t have to do any of that. It would have been the easy way out to be a normal teenager. But no, you wouldn’t do that. The Love that you have for your family is a gift that only God can give someone. I look around at the men in my life and no one compares.

You give…even when you don’t have to. You are completely selfless.

You love…unconditionally and show me everyday what a healthy relationship looks like when you love a great woman who is your equal.

You teach…everyday what a real man looks likes. When you make mistakes you always make sure I learn from them.

My favorite part about you is that you have loved all the people who didn’t deserve it. You loved and had hope in the hardest people to give grace to. That alone has made me… well, me.

While i’m thanking you, I should apologize for everything I put you through in high school. I know it couldn’t have been easy to have me as a little sister. I am sorry for all the lies I  have ever told you. I’m sorry that you were the person I yelled at, hit, and got angry with when I was hurting. It never was about you and I hope you know that. I felt you always knew that the lies and the terrible things I have done to you and everyone around me were repercussions of a pain that was so deep. I know I hurt you when I did those things, and I’m sorry.

I cannot thank you enough for being the man that you are. But thank you most of all for being the the first man in my life to show me what a little piece of what God’s heart looks like. You have been the one that I have looked up to since I was a little girl and my role model. Seeing you grow up has done this for me. Over the past couple of years you unknowingly helped grow my faith in the Lord and become the woman of God I am today.

I pray for you everyday and I pray that everyone can have…

A son.

A brother.

A dad.

A husband.

Or a best friend like you.

P.S.

I Love you.

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2 thoughts on “Dear Big Brother,

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